


Birds, Bees and Bumbling Idiots

by robin_X3



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Baby Names, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Wedding Planning, Weddings, group chats, renga
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-25 10:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30087525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robin_X3/pseuds/robin_X3
Summary: Reki seems to be under the impression that he got Langa pregnant.And then there's a wedding.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 5
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

“What’s the best flower to take for when you want to apologize to someone?” A meek voice mumbled out, drawing Hiromi Higa, or  _ Shadow’s _ attention.

“Apologize?” Shadow paused in misting the shop’s prized collection of delicate, hand-picked flowers, and looked over to the counter where Reki sat looking like a particularly unhappy puppy that knows it's going to see the vet soon. “What for?”

Reki’s mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, like a perfect imitation of a floundering fish, and Shadow explained. “Different flowers mean different things, and it also changes depending on the recipient, so you gotta be careful- wouldn’t wanna apologize with confession flowers, would you?” Noticing he’d emptied the spray bottle, Shadow put it away in the storage unit, where he got distracted while rearranging the fertilizers and plant feed. At length, he stood up and wiped the sweat on his forehead with a quiet huff, having entirely forgotten about his troubled customer. 

Whistling, the ginger returned to the main part of the shop with a basketful of plants and a skip in his step, the latter of which disappeared when he saw Reki still sitting in the same exact spot in the same exact state he’d left him in- head resting on his folded arms on the counter, the image of melancholy, complete with a rain cloud over his head.

Reki was such a sweet summer child- what could he have done that brought him to a flower shop, looking for apology flowers? What's the worst he can do- forget someone’s birthday? 

“Did you forget someone’s birthday?”

“Actually..” Reki squirmed in his seat, his expression a weird mix of excited and constipated, and Shadow put down the delicate flower pot in his hands before he dropped it, or threw it at the boy- depending on the boy’s confession. However, the redhead seemed terribly torn, as instead of blabbering out whatever it was that was clearly bothering him, he kept quiet, looking away in embarrassment and consternation. 

Sighing, Shadow approached the counter, wiping his hands on his apron, and laid a reassuring hand on the teen’s shoulder. “Hey, your secret’s safe with me.”

“I..” Mind made up, Reki took a deep breath, and babbled out at once, “I got Langa pregnant.”

“You WHAT?!!??!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, with another SK8 fic, instead of finishing the one in progress orz.


	2. Chapter 2

If you looked past the quaint signboard that said “CLOSED- Sorry for the inconvenience  ♥ ” in bold red outside the door of the restaurant, through the narrow blinds, you’d be able to see a very interesting scene of three grown adults, and a middle schooler, in the process of collectively losing their minds. And in the center of the chaos, you’d be able to see a redheaded teen awkwardly sitting on a barstool, scratching the back of his head and smiling sheepishly up at them.

“Excuse me.” Miya, ever the voice of reason, stood up on the barstool between Cherry and Joe, effectively shutting them up, and pointed an accusing finger at the culprit in question. “You!”

“Me?” Reki asked as he stared at the finger in front of his nose, trying his best not to go cross-eyed, but failed.

“Yes, you. What makes you think you got Langa pr-preg-”

“Pregnant.” Shadow supplied helpfully, causing Miya to make fake gagging noises. 

“Gross. Yes, that.”

“Well…” Reki trailed off, “Langa has been feeling sick for the past few days, and everytime I asked him why he kept avoiding the question. And then he even threw up on me before he could even make it to my toilet...”

“Are you sure it isn’t because of his horrible diet?” Shadow commented, but was talked over by Miya.

“What was he doing in  _ your  _ toilet?”

“My toilet was closer to my room. Isn’t that normal?” 

“What’s not normal is you implying you got a  **man** pregnant but..” Kaoru, aka Cherry started, but a hand clamped down on his mouth. Cherry bit the offending limb, and Joe took his hand back with a pained yelp. “Keep your filthy paw away from me.”

“That’s not what you said last night.. Oof.” Joe clutched his stomach where Cherry had just elbowed him. 

“I only took your hand because I’d have fallen down the bend otherwise, you imbecile.” 

Glaring at each other, the two turned back to the conversation, having called a truce for now.

“Langa has been staying with me this past week, since his mom is out of town for a business meeting, and I didn’t want him to be alone at home.”

“Okay so he just threw up once, big deal.” Shadow remarked.

“This big guy here throws up every time he gets drunk.” Joe pointed at Shadow, who turned red. 

“I do NOT!?!” Shadow sputtered. 

“Mmhm. Sure. Do you have any other proof?” Joe asked Reki, finding the boy’s misery far too amusing to let it go.

“Well he has been particularly moody the past week, and has been craving more and more weird food- like chocolates and ice cream and...”

“I’m sorry to break it to you Reki, but your boyfriend is a glutton.” Joe supplied helpfully.

“He isn’t a glutton. He just happens to like eating. A lot.” Reki defended Langa’s honor. “He’s gonna need to eat more now that he’s gonna be eating for two..” Reki nearly teared up, then exclaimed. “Oh, also, I’m not even sure if he’s my boyfriend....”

Silence.

Then a scuffle ensued.

“Okay, okay, break it off you three.” Joe pulled Shadow and Miya off of Reki, who looked comically battered now, minus one headband, the left lapel of his jacket singed (courtesy of Shadow’s firecrackers), and nursing tiny claw scratches on his cheek (their markings looked too much like Miya’s signature revenge style). “No need to destroy my restaurant.” Joe sighed as he held them up by the collars as easily as if they weighed nothing, and placed the troublemakers on two barstools as far away from each other as possible.

“Yeah guys, calm down!” Reki said, and was promptly bonked on the head by Cherry’s closed fan.

“Quiet, you tactless nincompoop. You deserved this beating. In fact, if it were up to me, I’d have you arrested.”

“What? Why? Is this because I secretly took photos of Langa while he was sleeping? And again when he was changing? He looked cute though..” Reki’s eyes took on a dreamy, faraway look, and Joe elbowed him.

“You’re not helping your case, kid.” Joe then faced Cherry. “What has your panties in a twist?”

Cherry ignored the bait. “He needs to explain why he thinks he got into someone’s pants if they weren’t even dating in the first place!”

“Well I wanted to!” Reki’s cheeks matched his hair, and he wrung his hands together. “But at the last minute, I couldn’t do it. I chickened out. I thought, Langa, he’s so, so pretty, you know.” Reki looked at his reflection on the mosaic glass behind the counter, and sighed, “and I’m so plain. Why would someone like Langa be interested in someone like  _ me _ ?”

Without a word, Shadow pulled Reki into a hug, sniffling quietly.

Miya extended his chocolate milk to Reki in a wordless apology.

Joe and Cherry shared a look between themselves which roughly translated to 'Let's call a truce and help this poor kid out.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will have short chapters and quick updates (hopefully). Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

`<Miya Chinen opened a new group chat>`

`<Miya Chinen added Hiromi Higa, Kaoru Sakurayashiki, and Kojiro Nanjo to the group chat>`

`<an admin changed the group chat names>`

Catboi: Who did this😾😾

King of S: The great me!

`<Catboi changed King of S’s nickname to King of Sucking>`

`<Catboi changed admin privileges>`

King of Sucking🤡: What the hell you runt?! Change it back right now!

Catboi: 😼 Make me.

Cardcaptor Sakura🌸: We don’t have time for your petty squabbling. The wedding is in a week.

The Green Hornet 🥒: Wow. So you’re not gonna comment on your nickname, Kaoru? 

Cardcaptor Sakura🌸: No time for your childishness, Kojiro.

The Green Hornet 🥒: Fine fine. I was only asking because you’re the one who was making a scene about Reki not knowing it’s biologically impossible for Langa to conceive.

Cardcaptor Sakura🌸: Yes. But I’m not sure anymore.

Catboi: ?

King of Sucking🤡: ??

The Green Hornet 🥒: ???

World’s Awesome-est AI: Allow me, boss. 

`<video starts playing>`

Kaoru looked at the blush on Reki’s cheeks, and felt a little bad about having to burst his bubble. He then glanced around the bar section of Kojiro’s restaurant- it had been an hour since Miya had left, claiming he had exams on the next day. Meanwhile, Hiromi and Kojiro had started up a drinking competition, calling it- “A celebration for Reki and Langa finally getting hitched,” which Kaoru could easily translate to its real meaning- “A mourning because even 17 year olds getting it while we’re still struggling to get laid.” Judging by the pair of loud, booming snores and equally loud but nasally ones belonging to Joe and Shadow respectively, Kaoru easily determined that the two had fallen asleep.

Sighing to himself, Kaoru mentally prepared himself to give Reki a reality check before things actually spiraled out of hand.

“Reki…” he started carefully. “How is school?”

“School’s great.” Reki beamed, scrolling through a list of baby names from a website Miya had forwarded to him. 

Peering over his shoulders, Kaoru took a quick, worried look at the notepad in front of Reki where he was noting down potential names, and sighed in relief; the first option under the boy column was Ollie and under the girl was Madonna. Given Reki’s history with naming things odd and overly-complicated names, such as Langa’s skateboard- the ‘Reki-Langa Special Slider’ (Who names their skateboard like that? Such imbeciles), Kaoru had assumed Reki would pick something equally, if not more outrageous and over-the-top for their baby. He then looked at the rest of the name, and felt like smacking his forehead on the nearest surface.

“Are those skateboard tricks, Reki?”

“Yes, isn’t that amazing? I’m really liking the sound of ‘Front Foot Impossible Kyan-Hasegawa,’ but Langa’s decision will be final. It’s our baby after all.”

Never before in his life had Kaoru wanted to coo and throw-up simultaneously at the same time. 

“Sure. Whatever. Good names, all of them. Except maybe the one with numbers.”

“..yeah, ‘KickFlip 360 Truck Stand Kyan-Hasegawa’ is quite a mouthful. Unless… we call him K3TS..” Reki trailed off, deep in thought.

“You won’t have to call them anything. Because there’s no way they’re gonna be here.”

“Huh, what do you mean?” Reki looked up, temporarily pausing on his name abbreviations.

“Reki, I’ve never asked this before because, frankly it’s not my business, but,” Kaoru looked Reki in the eyes. “How are your academics?”

“Academics?”

“Yes. To be specific, how are you faring in Biology?”

“Biology?” Reki repeated, confused.

“Yes, human biology and anatomy. Did they teach you the chapter about human reproduction yet?”

“About that…” There was a dusting of red on Reki’s cheeks, an embarrassed flush. “.....I slept through the class.” 

Kaoru felt a headache forming at the centre of his temple, and pushed his glasses back up to stave off some of the irritation. “How do you even pass classes like that?!”

“Langa helps me cram before exams. He’s terrible with Japanese, but great at everything else.” The proud inflection in his voice didn’t go unnoticed by Kaoru. _The kid’s whipped,_ he thought, but continued. “Well at least tell me you did took the sex education classes diligently?”

“Nope, I slept through that too…” Reki noticed the aura of anger emanating off Cherry, and scampered to explain himself. “It’s not my fault okay? Langa kept me up all night!”

Kaoru made a sound between a squeak and a groan.

Reki continued, unaware of Kaoru’s internal crisis. “We had fun though. I always knew Langa was good at riding me, you know? But who knew oil would make things go so smooth? You should’ve heard the way Langa kept calling my name over and over...... You alright Cherry?” Reki asked, confused.

Kaoru choked and wheezed some more. 

Shrugging, Reki got up to grab a glass of water for Cherry, who looked ready to pass out. As he poured the water into the glass, Reki wondered why Cherry was choking on his spit at the mention of them greasing the skateboard mechanics and Langa riding behind him to see whether the new board would hold up well to strain.

_Maybe he’s jealous he and Joe can’t fit on one skateboard together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Reki, you're absolutely right :v  
> I love comments and kudos as much as Cherry loves Carla!


End file.
